Setting Realistic Expectations: Avoiding Holiday Perfectionism with ADHD
The holiday season often comes with high expectations: perfect decorations, flawless gatherings, and ideal gifts. For people with ADHD, the pressure to create the “perfect” holiday can be especially challenging, leading to stress and feelings of being overwhelmed. Trying to meet every expectation—yours and others’—can take away from the joy of the season.
At ProADHD Coaching, we understand how holiday perfectionism can feel daunting, especially with ADHD. In this article, we’ll explore ways to let go of perfectionist expectations, set achievable goals, and embrace “good enough” to enjoy the season with less stress and more happiness.
Why Perfectionism Can Increase Stress and Disappointment
Holiday perfectionism often creates unrealistic expectations, leaving little room for flexibility or enjoyment. For people with ADHD, perfectionism can lead to frustration, as the additional pressure often highlights challenges with time management, focus, and organization. Rather than feeling joyful, the holiday season can start to feel like a series of obligations.
Perfectionism can make it difficult to appreciate small accomplishments and see the bigger picture of what makes the holidays meaningful. By setting realistic expectations and focusing on what truly matters, you can reduce stress and embrace a more fulfilling holiday experience.
Embracing the Concept of “Good Enough”
The idea of “good enough” might seem less exciting than perfection, but it can be incredibly freeing. Letting go of the need for everything to be flawless creates room for authenticity, fun, and meaningful connections. Here are some ways to practice “good enough” this holiday season:
- Focus on the Moments, Not the Details: Remind yourself that the holidays are about spending time with loved ones, not achieving perfection. Small imperfections—whether it’s a burned batch of cookies or mismatched decorations—often make memories more special.
- Set an Intention, Not a Standard: Rather than striving for a flawless holiday, set an intention to enjoy the season. For example, focus on creating warmth, relaxation, or connection, and let go of specific outcomes. An intention allows you to enjoy the moment without feeling pressured by expectations.
- Laugh at Imperfections: Embrace the quirks of the season and find humor in small mistakes or mishaps. Instead of feeling frustrated when things don’t go as planned, try to see it as part of the experience. Sometimes the funniest memories come from unexpected situations.
Embracing “good enough” allows you to experience the holiday season with less pressure, making it easier to focus on what matters most.
Setting Simple, Achievable Goals for the Holidays
Setting manageable goals can help reduce holiday stress and create a season that feels achievable and enjoyable. Here are some practical steps for creating goals that work for you:
- Choose a Few Key Priorities: Instead of trying to do everything, select a few meaningful activities or traditions to focus on. This might mean choosing a special meal to cook, decorating a small space, or attending one or two events that matter most to you. Prioritizing allows you to fully enjoy each activity without feeling overwhelmed.
- Break Down Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large holiday tasks, like decorating or preparing a meal, can feel daunting. Breaking them down into smaller steps makes them more manageable. For example, if you’re decorating, start with one room or one decoration type, like lights or ornaments. Completing small steps gives a sense of progress and reduces the risk of feeling overwhelmed.
- Limit the Number of Goals: Keep your goals simple and realistic. Rather than setting an extensive list of holiday to-dos, limit yourself to three to five small goals. For example, “Decorate the tree,” “Send cards to close friends,” and “Bake cookies with the kids” are manageable and meaningful.
Setting simple goals helps prevent holiday burnout and ensures that the season remains enjoyable rather than stressful.
Celebrating Small Wins and Enjoying the Season
Celebrating small achievements along the way makes the holiday season feel rewarding and keeps perfectionism at bay. Here’s how to appreciate your efforts and embrace the season’s joys:
- Acknowledge Every Effort: Give yourself credit for each accomplishment, no matter how small. Whether it’s setting up decorations or finishing a holiday recipe, recognizing your efforts can increase your sense of satisfaction and reinforce that “good enough” is truly enough.
- Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome: Try to appreciate each step of the holiday season, from shopping for gifts to preparing meals. By focusing on the process, you create positive memories and allow yourself to find enjoyment in the little things.
- Celebrate Moments of Connection and Joy: Sometimes, the most meaningful holiday moments come from simple interactions—a cozy evening, a shared laugh, or a heartfelt conversation. Recognizing these moments helps you enjoy the holiday season without getting caught up in unattainable expectations.
Celebrating small wins helps keep your focus on the joy of the season, rather than the pressure to make everything “perfect.”
Conclusion
Avoiding holiday perfectionism and setting realistic expectations allows you to enjoy the season in a way that feels authentic, relaxed, and fulfilling. By embracing “good enough,” setting manageable goals, and celebrating small accomplishments, you can create a holiday season that feels joyful and meaningful.
If you’d like additional support for managing ADHD during the holidays, consider reaching out to ProADHD Coaching. Our team is here to offer guidance, tools, and personalized strategies to help you approach the season with confidence and ease.